by: Amanda Cotterill
Baby doll lingerie is a wonderful Valentine's Day present. Many men think about giving lingerie presents to their partners for Valentine's Day. However, the confusing world of lingerie shopping is enough to stop many men from pursuing the thought. Men are often uninformed about complicated lingerie sizing, worried that their partners will be offended by risqué gifts, or simply confused about how to make a selection. Baby doll lingerie solves many of these concerns. It is loosely fitted and easy to size. Babydolls are also available in a wide range of styles and fabrics, making it appropriate for women of varying tastes. Here is a men's guide to baby doll lingerie.
What Is a Babydoll?
A babydoll is a very short, loose fitting negligee. It is typically sleeveless, but may have very short "cap" sleeves. Within this category, there are endless variations. A babydoll may or may not cover the buttocks. It may feature defined bra cups or hang loosely. Fabric choices range from silk or satin to lace or sheer fabrics.
Understanding Sizes
Due to loose fitting nature of baby doll lingerie, it is easy to determine what size to buy. Babydolls are generally sized the same way as dresses (6, 8, 10 etc). Buy a babydoll in the same size as the dresses your partner wears.
Some baby doll lingerie is "one size fits all." It would be better to consider that one size fits most. If your partner is particularly small or large, it is best to choose baby doll lingerie in her actual size.
Plus Size Women
Sexy lingerie makes many full figured women uncomfortable. If your partner has concerns about her size, baby doll lingerie is the perfect first step. Demonstrate that you respect her feelings (even if you don't understand them) by choosing the babydoll carefully. Look for a piece that covers the areas that make her uncomfortable while drawing attention to her best assets.
On the Wild Side
If your partner is confident and enjoys wearing sexy lingerie, consider more risqué babydoll styles. A barely-there fishnet or lace babydoll is sure to spice things up. Or consider an ultra-sheer babydoll in black, red or even white. Some styles are designed to expose and highlight your partner's body rather than providing coverage.
Add Accessories
Consider pairing a babydoll with thigh high stockings, with or without a garter belt. A pair of sexy panties, perhaps in a thong style, completes the outfit. Giving your partner a fully accessorized night-time "outfit" saves her the trouble of finding matching pieces and makes her realize how much thought was put into the gift.
Shopping for lingerie is difficult and confusing for many men. Certain lingerie items such as corsets must be individually fitted and are therefore not the best choices for gift items. However, baby doll lingerie is easily fitted, following the woman's normal dress size. A wide range of styles and fabrics makes this an excellent choice for women of every size and preference.
Selasa, 02 September 2008
A Men’s Guide For Buying Sexy Ladies Nightwear As A Gift
by: Amanda Cotterill
Valentine's Day brings thoughts of romantic ladies nightwear. Yet many men are unsure and confused about the varying styles that are available. Nonetheless, nightwear is relatively easy to purchase as a gift, as the sizing is much less complicated than with many lingerie items. Provided here is a men's guide to ladies nightwear.
Nightgown
A nightgown is probably the most traditional of all ladies nightwear. The nightgown is available in many forms, from ankle length to mid-thigh or above. Flannel is a traditional warm fabric for cold winter nights, but is not often considered romantic or sexy. Silk and satin are luxurious and romantic nightgown fabrics, while more risqué options include lace, mesh and even sheer fabrics. A short, sleek nightgown is often called a negligee or baby doll.
Chemise
A chemise is a short, body-skimming garment that can be used as both ladies nightwear and an alternative to a bra or slip. Chemises are often silk lingerie items, although there are other fabric options as well. The chemise is both sexy and comfortable, making it an excellent and very versatile option.
Pyjamas
Although pyjamas are often thought of a men's alternative, ladies nightwear has grown to include feminized versions of pyjamas. Ladies pyjama styles are generally cute and flirty as opposed to outright sexy, but offer the woman a comfortable and stylish alternative for lounging at home on days off. Consider silk lingerie styles such as soft pants matched with a silk tank top.
Boy Shorts
Boy shorts are a cute, comfortable and sexy alternative to traditional panties. Many women love to sleep in boy shorts paired with a tank top or soft camisole top. Look for cute styles featuring fun patterns or slogans. This is a great option for sporty women who may not enjoy the fussy look of a nightgown or silk pyjama set.
Robes and Accessories
In order to truly complete a ladies nightwear gift, consider adding a robe or other accessory. Ladies' robes are available in a wide range of styles, making it easy to find the perfect choice. A full-length robe is an excellent choice to provide coverage over a sexy nightwear option. If there are others living in the home, the full-length robe may be the best choice. If modesty is not a concern, consider a very short robe in silk or satin. To further enhance a sexy nightwear selection, look for a matching robe in a sheer fabric.
Other accessories vary dramatically. Perhaps a pair of high-heeled bedroom slippers would be a great choice. A pair of thigh high stockings would enhance a sexy ladies nightwear choice. Use your imagination when shopping for accessories, looking for those items that best compliment the nightwear that you have chosen.
Ladies nightwear is an excellent choice for men looking for a romantic Valentine's Day gift. It is easy to choose the correct size, while the range of options ensures that it is easy to find just the right outfit. Make sure to allow time to find accessories, creating the perfect complete outfit.
Valentine's Day brings thoughts of romantic ladies nightwear. Yet many men are unsure and confused about the varying styles that are available. Nonetheless, nightwear is relatively easy to purchase as a gift, as the sizing is much less complicated than with many lingerie items. Provided here is a men's guide to ladies nightwear.
Nightgown
A nightgown is probably the most traditional of all ladies nightwear. The nightgown is available in many forms, from ankle length to mid-thigh or above. Flannel is a traditional warm fabric for cold winter nights, but is not often considered romantic or sexy. Silk and satin are luxurious and romantic nightgown fabrics, while more risqué options include lace, mesh and even sheer fabrics. A short, sleek nightgown is often called a negligee or baby doll.
Chemise
A chemise is a short, body-skimming garment that can be used as both ladies nightwear and an alternative to a bra or slip. Chemises are often silk lingerie items, although there are other fabric options as well. The chemise is both sexy and comfortable, making it an excellent and very versatile option.
Pyjamas
Although pyjamas are often thought of a men's alternative, ladies nightwear has grown to include feminized versions of pyjamas. Ladies pyjama styles are generally cute and flirty as opposed to outright sexy, but offer the woman a comfortable and stylish alternative for lounging at home on days off. Consider silk lingerie styles such as soft pants matched with a silk tank top.
Boy Shorts
Boy shorts are a cute, comfortable and sexy alternative to traditional panties. Many women love to sleep in boy shorts paired with a tank top or soft camisole top. Look for cute styles featuring fun patterns or slogans. This is a great option for sporty women who may not enjoy the fussy look of a nightgown or silk pyjama set.
Robes and Accessories
In order to truly complete a ladies nightwear gift, consider adding a robe or other accessory. Ladies' robes are available in a wide range of styles, making it easy to find the perfect choice. A full-length robe is an excellent choice to provide coverage over a sexy nightwear option. If there are others living in the home, the full-length robe may be the best choice. If modesty is not a concern, consider a very short robe in silk or satin. To further enhance a sexy nightwear selection, look for a matching robe in a sheer fabric.
Other accessories vary dramatically. Perhaps a pair of high-heeled bedroom slippers would be a great choice. A pair of thigh high stockings would enhance a sexy ladies nightwear choice. Use your imagination when shopping for accessories, looking for those items that best compliment the nightwear that you have chosen.
Ladies nightwear is an excellent choice for men looking for a romantic Valentine's Day gift. It is easy to choose the correct size, while the range of options ensures that it is easy to find just the right outfit. Make sure to allow time to find accessories, creating the perfect complete outfit.
A Unique New Approach to Attracting and Seducing Women for Men Written By a Woman
by: arinze eze
GuyGetsGirl Review:
A Unique New Approach to Attracting and Seducing Women for Men Written By a Woman
By now you’ve probably seen hundreds of guys all over the net promoting pickup and seduction guides, DVD’s and courses. And if you’re like me, you’ve probably even tried a few (in fact, I’ve probably spent a few thousand dollars on attraction and seduction education – including the seminars, books and stuff). Some of these ‘gurus’ peddling their wares know what they are talking about, but most don’t and are just in this industry for a quick buck.
In the best part of 10 years and after using dozens of guru’s material I didn’t come across ANYTHING written by a woman for men - until now.
I’ve finally found a collection of eBooks written by a woman – the author’s name is Tiffany Taylor. I bought access to Tiffany’s GuyGetsGirl site and instantly downloaded her 3 chunky eBooks which take you by the hand from beginner’s essentials like the importance of smiling, self-confidence up to the advanced heavily psychological stuff. There’s something in here for everybody whatever your level and lots of really powerful techniques I’d never heard of before.
I remember thinking to myself, “women don’t really know what women want, they just know what they THINK they want” but with this one I was wrong. She goes deep into the female psyche and really does expose a few “short cuts” and easy to press attraction buttons that are present in all women. And boy do they work.
I’d say this is probably the most unique and fresh approach to attraction and seduction I’ve seen in a very long time and it is well worth checking out if you have the money. If not and you want to increase your success with beautiful women, then SAVE UP and get this guide. You won’t regret it.
Visit...http://tinyurl.com/2bbm67
to find out more information about Tiffany Taylor's GuyGetsGirl site
Touching/physical contact is an absolutely vital component of seduction. You can’t successfully pick-up a girl without first establishing a basic level of mutual tactility – I.E. Before you can move in for the kill by kissing and/or sleeping with her, you MUST first have a regular, healthy amount of touching that works both ways: she flirtatiously puts her hand on your knee, you encircle her waist with your arm and pull her a little closer – whatever form the physical contact takes, it has to be present for you to achieve your final goal of actual seduction. And that right there is where the problem for many men lies: how can a guy get the ball rolling when it comes to tactility and physical closeness? If the girl’s not being tactile, how can a guy develop mutual physical closeness without freaking her out or scaring her away?
Often men just “go for it” and consequently end up making the girl feel uncomfortable or even slightly violated because of their rushed attempt at physical closeness. Other men decide they don’t want to risk putting a girl off, so hold back any kind of touching or bodily contact – doing so usually sends out the wrong message, that the guy is either not interested in the girl, or that he’s simply too timid to show it, neither of which are attractive scenarios in the mind of a good-looking, fun-loving girl. Okay, so what’s the solution to this awkward problem?
Quite simply, you just need to follow a few basic rules or procedures, all of which conform to the personal boundaries of most girl (and therefore don’t appear uncalled for or rushed) but at the same time clearly indicate that you’re a confident guy who’s not afraid of getting to know girls and even showing it through casual, relaxed physical contact. So, let’s take a look.
1. Many men think that touching a girl in any way when they first meet them is an absolute no-no. But that’s simply not true. To form a positive, strong first impression and create an immediate bond with a girl when you first introduce yourself or get talking, casually and gently touch the outside of her right arm while at the same time verbally expressing something. The outside of a woman’s arm is not intimate enough a place for the touch to feel strange or out-of-place, but at the same time it’s a clear-cut sign that you’re a personable, socially adept kind of guy. Don’t be afraid to give it a try – you’ll notice the benefits immediately.
2. Once you’ve started a conversation with a girl, or when you randomly find yourself chatting to a woman you really like the look of, it’s important to keep up the physical contact. Doing so helps maintain the bond and rapport you’ve already created and also helps build it further, into mutually felt sexual attraction. You can use something called ‘Stealth Tactility’ to do this. Quite simply, stealth tactility involves making physical contact with the girl in a disguised way. For example, if she wants to go to the bar or bathroom but doesn’t know the way, you can use stealth tactility by placing your hand on her shoulder, drawing her in a little closer, swivelling both of your bodies round until you face in the right direction, then point past other people or obstacles with your other hand to where she needs to go.
3. Lastly, always try to use a ‘contact close’ when you finish your conversation with a girl. For example, after swapping numbers or arranging to meet again, give her a kiss on the cheek or a hug and a kiss. Many men think that the hard work’s been done once something’s been arranged for a later date, but making physical contact before you part with a girl is always a great way of ensuring she remembers you and really cannot wait to see you again.
Tiffany Taylor is the female author of GuyGetsGirl, a special guide that reveals for the first time what goes on the minds of women AND how men can use special psychological and social techniques to attract and seduce them – regardless of their looks, bank balance or the car they drive. Attract And Seduce Women Today....More...http://tinyurl.com/2bbm67
How to Seduce a Woman Using ‘Deflection Theory’ by Tiffany Taylor
There’s something that often happens when you’re out playing the ‘seduction game’ – that is, when you’re actively looking out for girls you think you’d like to hook-up with. Many men have experienced it, and many thousands of men still do experience it when they themselves are out playing the game. It usually goes something like this: you’re in a group, talking to a couple of girls. You’re with a friend or two, perhaps having drinks in a bar or at a party. You’ve got your eye on one girl in the group in particular and want to make something happen, make a bit of a connection. Thing is, she’s proving the hardest to connect to – sure, she smiles and talks to you nicely and politely, but she’s not returning your flirtatious gestures and comments much, if at all. It’s like she’s playing hard to get or something, whereas her female friends seem to be much more playful and flirty.
This doesn’t happen because you aren’t her type or just because sometimes these things happen (or don’t) – there’s a different, special reason the girl you’re interested in doesn’t appear to be interested in you and it’s got a lot to do with psychology and social standing. You see, when you show you’re interested in a good-looking girl who’s with her friends, you inadvertently bump up her ego and feeling of self-worth. She knows you’ve chosen and are most interested in her and likes this feeling of elevated importance. However, she also knows that if she reacts by becoming really flirty and obviously attracted to YOU, she’ll lose the higher social value she has over her friends (probably the reason you targeted her in the first place), so she therefore maintains her unattainable, “I’m a bit too good for you” status.Visit...http://tinyurl.com/2bbm67
However, you can blow this problem out of the water by using DEFLECTION THEORY. You turn the situation on its head and reverse the psychology of your target female by deflecting your attention AWAY from her and ONTO one or more of her friends. When you show her friends (who have lower social value/worth than your target female) more attention and affection, you challenge her ego. So, in an effort to regain her superiority in the hierarchy of her circle of friends, the girl you’re really interested in will subconsciously invest much MORE interest in you by flirting and being playful. As so many women do, she gives into wanting what she feels she cannot have – and, of course, you’ll be happy to have her. She is, after all, the hottest of the group and the one you wanted in the first place. Here’s how to deflect your attention onto one of her friends to make her (the girl you want) feel as if her ego has been challenged and thus make her feel an instant and undeniable desire to get your attention and “win” you back.
1. Use strong eye contact when talking to all of the girls. However, when you’re talking to your target female, occasionally glance away and towards one of the other girls (who will probably be talking amongst themselves or to your friend/friends if you’re with any) and give a slight smile before looking back at your target. This jackhammers a sense of competition into the subconscious mind of the girl you’re really interested in and immediately makes her want to fight for your attention.
2. Casually make physical contact with her friends more than her. For example, touch them on the side of their arm to get their attention or when laughing and joking.
3. When sitting down or standing around talking as a group, face slightly more (as in, the direction of your body/torso) in the direction of one of her friends more than her.
Using deflection theory to challenge a girl you’re interested in’s ego and therefore make her want you more is just one psychological technique you can use to boost your pick-up game. Combine it with others and you maximize your success with the opposite sex in ways most men have and never will experience. You can be the guy that gets the girl!
Want more information on how to attract and seduce women with the GuyGetsGirl system?Visit...http://tinyurl.com/2bbm67
GuyGetsGirl Review:
A Unique New Approach to Attracting and Seducing Women for Men Written By a Woman
By now you’ve probably seen hundreds of guys all over the net promoting pickup and seduction guides, DVD’s and courses. And if you’re like me, you’ve probably even tried a few (in fact, I’ve probably spent a few thousand dollars on attraction and seduction education – including the seminars, books and stuff). Some of these ‘gurus’ peddling their wares know what they are talking about, but most don’t and are just in this industry for a quick buck.
In the best part of 10 years and after using dozens of guru’s material I didn’t come across ANYTHING written by a woman for men - until now.
I’ve finally found a collection of eBooks written by a woman – the author’s name is Tiffany Taylor. I bought access to Tiffany’s GuyGetsGirl site and instantly downloaded her 3 chunky eBooks which take you by the hand from beginner’s essentials like the importance of smiling, self-confidence up to the advanced heavily psychological stuff. There’s something in here for everybody whatever your level and lots of really powerful techniques I’d never heard of before.
I remember thinking to myself, “women don’t really know what women want, they just know what they THINK they want” but with this one I was wrong. She goes deep into the female psyche and really does expose a few “short cuts” and easy to press attraction buttons that are present in all women. And boy do they work.
I’d say this is probably the most unique and fresh approach to attraction and seduction I’ve seen in a very long time and it is well worth checking out if you have the money. If not and you want to increase your success with beautiful women, then SAVE UP and get this guide. You won’t regret it.
Visit...http://tinyurl.com/2bbm67
to find out more information about Tiffany Taylor's GuyGetsGirl site
Touching/physical contact is an absolutely vital component of seduction. You can’t successfully pick-up a girl without first establishing a basic level of mutual tactility – I.E. Before you can move in for the kill by kissing and/or sleeping with her, you MUST first have a regular, healthy amount of touching that works both ways: she flirtatiously puts her hand on your knee, you encircle her waist with your arm and pull her a little closer – whatever form the physical contact takes, it has to be present for you to achieve your final goal of actual seduction. And that right there is where the problem for many men lies: how can a guy get the ball rolling when it comes to tactility and physical closeness? If the girl’s not being tactile, how can a guy develop mutual physical closeness without freaking her out or scaring her away?
Often men just “go for it” and consequently end up making the girl feel uncomfortable or even slightly violated because of their rushed attempt at physical closeness. Other men decide they don’t want to risk putting a girl off, so hold back any kind of touching or bodily contact – doing so usually sends out the wrong message, that the guy is either not interested in the girl, or that he’s simply too timid to show it, neither of which are attractive scenarios in the mind of a good-looking, fun-loving girl. Okay, so what’s the solution to this awkward problem?
Quite simply, you just need to follow a few basic rules or procedures, all of which conform to the personal boundaries of most girl (and therefore don’t appear uncalled for or rushed) but at the same time clearly indicate that you’re a confident guy who’s not afraid of getting to know girls and even showing it through casual, relaxed physical contact. So, let’s take a look.
1. Many men think that touching a girl in any way when they first meet them is an absolute no-no. But that’s simply not true. To form a positive, strong first impression and create an immediate bond with a girl when you first introduce yourself or get talking, casually and gently touch the outside of her right arm while at the same time verbally expressing something. The outside of a woman’s arm is not intimate enough a place for the touch to feel strange or out-of-place, but at the same time it’s a clear-cut sign that you’re a personable, socially adept kind of guy. Don’t be afraid to give it a try – you’ll notice the benefits immediately.
2. Once you’ve started a conversation with a girl, or when you randomly find yourself chatting to a woman you really like the look of, it’s important to keep up the physical contact. Doing so helps maintain the bond and rapport you’ve already created and also helps build it further, into mutually felt sexual attraction. You can use something called ‘Stealth Tactility’ to do this. Quite simply, stealth tactility involves making physical contact with the girl in a disguised way. For example, if she wants to go to the bar or bathroom but doesn’t know the way, you can use stealth tactility by placing your hand on her shoulder, drawing her in a little closer, swivelling both of your bodies round until you face in the right direction, then point past other people or obstacles with your other hand to where she needs to go.
3. Lastly, always try to use a ‘contact close’ when you finish your conversation with a girl. For example, after swapping numbers or arranging to meet again, give her a kiss on the cheek or a hug and a kiss. Many men think that the hard work’s been done once something’s been arranged for a later date, but making physical contact before you part with a girl is always a great way of ensuring she remembers you and really cannot wait to see you again.
Tiffany Taylor is the female author of GuyGetsGirl, a special guide that reveals for the first time what goes on the minds of women AND how men can use special psychological and social techniques to attract and seduce them – regardless of their looks, bank balance or the car they drive. Attract And Seduce Women Today....More...http://tinyurl.com/2bbm67
How to Seduce a Woman Using ‘Deflection Theory’ by Tiffany Taylor
There’s something that often happens when you’re out playing the ‘seduction game’ – that is, when you’re actively looking out for girls you think you’d like to hook-up with. Many men have experienced it, and many thousands of men still do experience it when they themselves are out playing the game. It usually goes something like this: you’re in a group, talking to a couple of girls. You’re with a friend or two, perhaps having drinks in a bar or at a party. You’ve got your eye on one girl in the group in particular and want to make something happen, make a bit of a connection. Thing is, she’s proving the hardest to connect to – sure, she smiles and talks to you nicely and politely, but she’s not returning your flirtatious gestures and comments much, if at all. It’s like she’s playing hard to get or something, whereas her female friends seem to be much more playful and flirty.
This doesn’t happen because you aren’t her type or just because sometimes these things happen (or don’t) – there’s a different, special reason the girl you’re interested in doesn’t appear to be interested in you and it’s got a lot to do with psychology and social standing. You see, when you show you’re interested in a good-looking girl who’s with her friends, you inadvertently bump up her ego and feeling of self-worth. She knows you’ve chosen and are most interested in her and likes this feeling of elevated importance. However, she also knows that if she reacts by becoming really flirty and obviously attracted to YOU, she’ll lose the higher social value she has over her friends (probably the reason you targeted her in the first place), so she therefore maintains her unattainable, “I’m a bit too good for you” status.Visit...http://tinyurl.com/2bbm67
However, you can blow this problem out of the water by using DEFLECTION THEORY. You turn the situation on its head and reverse the psychology of your target female by deflecting your attention AWAY from her and ONTO one or more of her friends. When you show her friends (who have lower social value/worth than your target female) more attention and affection, you challenge her ego. So, in an effort to regain her superiority in the hierarchy of her circle of friends, the girl you’re really interested in will subconsciously invest much MORE interest in you by flirting and being playful. As so many women do, she gives into wanting what she feels she cannot have – and, of course, you’ll be happy to have her. She is, after all, the hottest of the group and the one you wanted in the first place. Here’s how to deflect your attention onto one of her friends to make her (the girl you want) feel as if her ego has been challenged and thus make her feel an instant and undeniable desire to get your attention and “win” you back.
1. Use strong eye contact when talking to all of the girls. However, when you’re talking to your target female, occasionally glance away and towards one of the other girls (who will probably be talking amongst themselves or to your friend/friends if you’re with any) and give a slight smile before looking back at your target. This jackhammers a sense of competition into the subconscious mind of the girl you’re really interested in and immediately makes her want to fight for your attention.
2. Casually make physical contact with her friends more than her. For example, touch them on the side of their arm to get their attention or when laughing and joking.
3. When sitting down or standing around talking as a group, face slightly more (as in, the direction of your body/torso) in the direction of one of her friends more than her.
Using deflection theory to challenge a girl you’re interested in’s ego and therefore make her want you more is just one psychological technique you can use to boost your pick-up game. Combine it with others and you maximize your success with the opposite sex in ways most men have and never will experience. You can be the guy that gets the girl!
Want more information on how to attract and seduce women with the GuyGetsGirl system?Visit...http://tinyurl.com/2bbm67
My Wife Has Lost Her Desire for Sex and Intimacy: A Story for Men…
by: Calle Zorro
It usually goes something like this…
They meet and start dating in high-school – or in some cases, in college. After graduation, they marry.
She goes to work in a lower-end job – something like teaching – which she enjoys to some extent – but it isn’t her “everything”.
He, enters into some kind of mid-range job – and the “potential” of a great career looms clearly before him.
And of course, he has his hobbies and the things he does with his friends…golf, motorcycles, fishing, racing, and so on.
Along the way, children come along – along with the corresponding bigger cars, house, etc.
In the morning, as he leaves for work, the man kisses his wife goodbye and when he gets home, he hugs her and tells her he deeply loves her.
Time speeds by…
Occasionally, the wife complains to her husband that she feels like her and the children are taking a back seat to his work and hobbies. And, for a time, he’ll “cut back” – just long enough for the “storm” to “blow over” and then he’s back to “life as usual”.
Besides, the man knows that he loves his wife and children and so he doesn’t feel that his wife’s concerns are justifiable.
More time speeds by…
And, what with all of his work and hobbies, it’s hard for the man to find enough time to be able to devote any significant time to his marriage relationship.
Every so often, another “storm” blows up…
The wife gets depressed.
She goes through emotional “hard times” for no apparent reason.
But, they talk and the wife tells the husband that she doesn’t feel like she’s a priority to him – although she readily admits that he is a good husband and father. Not only that, she tells him that she understands how important his career is and how important it is for him to continue “climbing the ladder of success”.
And so after talking, the storm seems to blow over and everything appears to be ok…
And since by his wife’s own admission, the man is a “good” husband and father, he just continues on with life as he knows it – work and hobbies, work and hobbies, work and hobbies.
Then five, sometimes ten, oftentimes fifteen or twenty years later, the woman “surprises” the husband with the “news” that she no longer loves him and that she wants out of the marriage.
It’s usually at that point that the husband is awakened to the fact for all of this time, he has been a priority to his wife while she has NOT been a priority to him and that she “cohabitated” in that lonely existence for as long as she possibly could – and now she doesn’t even want the marriage – let alone want the marriage to work.
The husband foolishly and mistakenly assumed that his wife would just always love him – without any maintenance or effort on his part – as he enjoyed life doing his own thing.
And now, more than anything, the husband wants the marriage to work out…and she doesn’t…
For too long, HE has put HIMSELF first…and SHE too has put him and the children first…
For too long, HE has done whatever he wanted to make himself happy…and SHE too has done whatever it took to make him happy…
For too long, the wife has put herself aside as she tries to make sure her husband got the things he wanted.
For too long, the wife has supported the man in his happiness and success. On the other hand, the man has given little to no support to his wife for her happiness and success.
Through the years, the wife would occasionally attempt to engage in something she was interested in – and she would quickly run into the “dark cloud” of the man’s displeasure for having to watch the kids or sacrifice his own interests and needs – and so, she would once again, set her needs and interests aside.
She suppressed “herself” and that lack of “expression” began to build – building like toxins and waste in an unhealthy body…
Now, she has reached the point where she is so emotionally shut down that short of a Divine miracle, the relationship is beyond repair.
The fact is, the wife is done with the man and his selfishness.
Ironically, now that the man realizes he is losing her, he wants nothing but his wife.
Now, the husband wants his wife to “communicate” her feelings.
Now, he wants her to “talk about” her needs and interests.
Now, she’s not interested.
Why should she be?
For all those years prior, HE wasn’t interested in really listening to and attending to her emotions, desires, and needs!
He was only interested in “listening” just long enough for her to shut up, get over her emotional spell (or as he really felt, her emotional weakness), and leave him alone so he could go on doing his own thing.
Why should she now believe that he cares about her feelings, desires, and needs?
Why should she now believe that he will actually make a permanent change – one where she is a priority in his life?
After all, his mode of operation for the entire marriage has been to “gloss” over her feelings, desires, and needs.
So, why should she put herself in a vulnerable position again?
Why should she go back into a position where her feelings get crushed all over again?
After all, his attitude was always one of, “This will all blow over. She’ll get over it.”
It was her unattended feelings, desires, and needs that caused all those “storms to blow up” through the years and every time, after the “clouds” cleared away, he was his same old unchanged self.
And each time this happened, the man unknowingly twisted an invisible dagger deeper and deeper into the woman’s heart that left HER feeling number than the time before.
Until finally, as it pertains to this man, her heart is “dead”. She’s “stone cold”. Her love is gone…her heart is gone…she’s gone.
There is ZERO desire in her heart to “try” anymore.
She has ZERO interest in “cohabitating” with a “kid” in a man’s body who gets all the toys and has all the fun while she sits on the sidelines lonely, unhappy, and unfulfilled.
In fact, she has ZERO tolerance for even one more hour of being alone while her supposed-to-be-husband is off “making the boss happy” or “doing his weekend thing with his buddies”.
Of course, there were “signs” all along the way…
But, in all of his “rambunctious energy”, the man blew right past them and ignored them…
At least, most of them…
One of them was kind of hard for him to ignore…
The affection, intimacy, and sex became less and less frequent.
Early on in their marriage, it was a common thing for the man to hold her or to touch her hair or to kiss her and even to initiate sex – and she always responded and reciprocated.
But, as time went on, he still did these things but she slowly stopped responding and reciprocating.
Unfortunately, as her needs continued to go unnoticed and unmet, he “barreled on down the road” – turning to the comfort and enjoyment found in his work, career, friends, and hobbies.
Sadly, when they talk now, it’s through attorneys.
What about YOUR marriage?
My hope is that things aren’t quite this far gone for you yet. My hope is that there’s still a chance you can turn things for the better in your marriage.
Copyright 2008, Article by Calle Zorro of NymphomaniacWife.com. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if the resource box pointing to our website is included with it.
It usually goes something like this…
They meet and start dating in high-school – or in some cases, in college. After graduation, they marry.
She goes to work in a lower-end job – something like teaching – which she enjoys to some extent – but it isn’t her “everything”.
He, enters into some kind of mid-range job – and the “potential” of a great career looms clearly before him.
And of course, he has his hobbies and the things he does with his friends…golf, motorcycles, fishing, racing, and so on.
Along the way, children come along – along with the corresponding bigger cars, house, etc.
In the morning, as he leaves for work, the man kisses his wife goodbye and when he gets home, he hugs her and tells her he deeply loves her.
Time speeds by…
Occasionally, the wife complains to her husband that she feels like her and the children are taking a back seat to his work and hobbies. And, for a time, he’ll “cut back” – just long enough for the “storm” to “blow over” and then he’s back to “life as usual”.
Besides, the man knows that he loves his wife and children and so he doesn’t feel that his wife’s concerns are justifiable.
More time speeds by…
And, what with all of his work and hobbies, it’s hard for the man to find enough time to be able to devote any significant time to his marriage relationship.
Every so often, another “storm” blows up…
The wife gets depressed.
She goes through emotional “hard times” for no apparent reason.
But, they talk and the wife tells the husband that she doesn’t feel like she’s a priority to him – although she readily admits that he is a good husband and father. Not only that, she tells him that she understands how important his career is and how important it is for him to continue “climbing the ladder of success”.
And so after talking, the storm seems to blow over and everything appears to be ok…
And since by his wife’s own admission, the man is a “good” husband and father, he just continues on with life as he knows it – work and hobbies, work and hobbies, work and hobbies.
Then five, sometimes ten, oftentimes fifteen or twenty years later, the woman “surprises” the husband with the “news” that she no longer loves him and that she wants out of the marriage.
It’s usually at that point that the husband is awakened to the fact for all of this time, he has been a priority to his wife while she has NOT been a priority to him and that she “cohabitated” in that lonely existence for as long as she possibly could – and now she doesn’t even want the marriage – let alone want the marriage to work.
The husband foolishly and mistakenly assumed that his wife would just always love him – without any maintenance or effort on his part – as he enjoyed life doing his own thing.
And now, more than anything, the husband wants the marriage to work out…and she doesn’t…
For too long, HE has put HIMSELF first…and SHE too has put him and the children first…
For too long, HE has done whatever he wanted to make himself happy…and SHE too has done whatever it took to make him happy…
For too long, the wife has put herself aside as she tries to make sure her husband got the things he wanted.
For too long, the wife has supported the man in his happiness and success. On the other hand, the man has given little to no support to his wife for her happiness and success.
Through the years, the wife would occasionally attempt to engage in something she was interested in – and she would quickly run into the “dark cloud” of the man’s displeasure for having to watch the kids or sacrifice his own interests and needs – and so, she would once again, set her needs and interests aside.
She suppressed “herself” and that lack of “expression” began to build – building like toxins and waste in an unhealthy body…
Now, she has reached the point where she is so emotionally shut down that short of a Divine miracle, the relationship is beyond repair.
The fact is, the wife is done with the man and his selfishness.
Ironically, now that the man realizes he is losing her, he wants nothing but his wife.
Now, the husband wants his wife to “communicate” her feelings.
Now, he wants her to “talk about” her needs and interests.
Now, she’s not interested.
Why should she be?
For all those years prior, HE wasn’t interested in really listening to and attending to her emotions, desires, and needs!
He was only interested in “listening” just long enough for her to shut up, get over her emotional spell (or as he really felt, her emotional weakness), and leave him alone so he could go on doing his own thing.
Why should she now believe that he cares about her feelings, desires, and needs?
Why should she now believe that he will actually make a permanent change – one where she is a priority in his life?
After all, his mode of operation for the entire marriage has been to “gloss” over her feelings, desires, and needs.
So, why should she put herself in a vulnerable position again?
Why should she go back into a position where her feelings get crushed all over again?
After all, his attitude was always one of, “This will all blow over. She’ll get over it.”
It was her unattended feelings, desires, and needs that caused all those “storms to blow up” through the years and every time, after the “clouds” cleared away, he was his same old unchanged self.
And each time this happened, the man unknowingly twisted an invisible dagger deeper and deeper into the woman’s heart that left HER feeling number than the time before.
Until finally, as it pertains to this man, her heart is “dead”. She’s “stone cold”. Her love is gone…her heart is gone…she’s gone.
There is ZERO desire in her heart to “try” anymore.
She has ZERO interest in “cohabitating” with a “kid” in a man’s body who gets all the toys and has all the fun while she sits on the sidelines lonely, unhappy, and unfulfilled.
In fact, she has ZERO tolerance for even one more hour of being alone while her supposed-to-be-husband is off “making the boss happy” or “doing his weekend thing with his buddies”.
Of course, there were “signs” all along the way…
But, in all of his “rambunctious energy”, the man blew right past them and ignored them…
At least, most of them…
One of them was kind of hard for him to ignore…
The affection, intimacy, and sex became less and less frequent.
Early on in their marriage, it was a common thing for the man to hold her or to touch her hair or to kiss her and even to initiate sex – and she always responded and reciprocated.
But, as time went on, he still did these things but she slowly stopped responding and reciprocating.
Unfortunately, as her needs continued to go unnoticed and unmet, he “barreled on down the road” – turning to the comfort and enjoyment found in his work, career, friends, and hobbies.
Sadly, when they talk now, it’s through attorneys.
What about YOUR marriage?
My hope is that things aren’t quite this far gone for you yet. My hope is that there’s still a chance you can turn things for the better in your marriage.
Copyright 2008, Article by Calle Zorro of NymphomaniacWife.com. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if the resource box pointing to our website is included with it.
Your Prostate Problem - The What, The How, The Where Of Your Prostate Problem, And Your Options.
by: Daniel Luke Tolmie
BPH, Prostatitis, Prosate Cancer, Enlarged Prostate, they're all terms that get bandied about by men over 50 and an unlucky bunch below 50 as well.
Before you can be offered help about an issue, namely you take 15 minutes just to go to the toilet, you should really understand what is the cause of your prostate problem.
The what, the how, and where of why your partner is threatening you with wearing nappies at the age of 53 is an important issue!
The what of your prostate problem is that its function is to produce most of the fluids in semen, as well as the fluid that transports the sperm. Within the prostate are tiny ducts that transport this fluid to the urethra.
The how of your prostate problem is so simple and yet so complex. It slowly enlarges as you age, and sometimes causes pressure on the outflow tube, resulting in a slower stream, and often an urgent need to go to go to the toilet more often, annoying!! Especially multiple times during the night. This condition is known as benign prostatic hypertrophy (BPH). Occasionally men develop cancer of the prostate, which causes similar symptoms, but this nowhere as common as BPH, and the one does not necessarily lead on to the other.
The where of your problem prostate is directly below your bladder and surrounding your uretha, the tube that you urinate out of. Imagine a wine glass with your bladder as the main part and your uretha as the stem.
Possible symptoms of a prostate problem are;
- Burning sensation when urinating
- Nocturia (interrupted sleep due to the constant need to urinate at night)
- Weak urine flow
- The inability to empty the bladder completely
- Pain, hesitancy or urgency to urinate
- Blood in the urine
- Lower back pain
- Feeling uncomfortable when sitting
- Discomfort in the testicles groin or penis
- Pain when ejaculating or during sex
- Itchy feeling in penis
- Difficulties getting an erection or impotence
- A decrease in sexual desire
If you have any of those prostate problems (above), then you will end up using these (below);
Possible solutions to cure your prostate problem that will be discussed in other articles are;
- Taking a drug to shrink the prostate.
- Taking a drug to relax the muscles at the neck of the bladder.
- Having a surgeon cut away part of your prostate, accessing it via the uretha, or just diving straight in.
- Taking vitamin, mineral and herbal supplements to shrink the prostate or increase flow.
- Heat therapies - delivered through the urethra and using a local anaesthetic.
- Start a moderate exercise programme.
- Change the sort of foods and liquids you eat and and drink.
There are hugely varying results you will get from these treatments, some with horrendous side-affects, others with none. Some painless, others will put you in bed for 2 weeks. The choice is up to you.
BPH, Prostatitis, Prosate Cancer, Enlarged Prostate, they're all terms that get bandied about by men over 50 and an unlucky bunch below 50 as well.
Before you can be offered help about an issue, namely you take 15 minutes just to go to the toilet, you should really understand what is the cause of your prostate problem.
The what, the how, and where of why your partner is threatening you with wearing nappies at the age of 53 is an important issue!
The what of your prostate problem is that its function is to produce most of the fluids in semen, as well as the fluid that transports the sperm. Within the prostate are tiny ducts that transport this fluid to the urethra.
The how of your prostate problem is so simple and yet so complex. It slowly enlarges as you age, and sometimes causes pressure on the outflow tube, resulting in a slower stream, and often an urgent need to go to go to the toilet more often, annoying!! Especially multiple times during the night. This condition is known as benign prostatic hypertrophy (BPH). Occasionally men develop cancer of the prostate, which causes similar symptoms, but this nowhere as common as BPH, and the one does not necessarily lead on to the other.
The where of your problem prostate is directly below your bladder and surrounding your uretha, the tube that you urinate out of. Imagine a wine glass with your bladder as the main part and your uretha as the stem.
Possible symptoms of a prostate problem are;
- Burning sensation when urinating
- Nocturia (interrupted sleep due to the constant need to urinate at night)
- Weak urine flow
- The inability to empty the bladder completely
- Pain, hesitancy or urgency to urinate
- Blood in the urine
- Lower back pain
- Feeling uncomfortable when sitting
- Discomfort in the testicles groin or penis
- Pain when ejaculating or during sex
- Itchy feeling in penis
- Difficulties getting an erection or impotence
- A decrease in sexual desire
If you have any of those prostate problems (above), then you will end up using these (below);
Possible solutions to cure your prostate problem that will be discussed in other articles are;
- Taking a drug to shrink the prostate.
- Taking a drug to relax the muscles at the neck of the bladder.
- Having a surgeon cut away part of your prostate, accessing it via the uretha, or just diving straight in.
- Taking vitamin, mineral and herbal supplements to shrink the prostate or increase flow.
- Heat therapies - delivered through the urethra and using a local anaesthetic.
- Start a moderate exercise programme.
- Change the sort of foods and liquids you eat and and drink.
There are hugely varying results you will get from these treatments, some with horrendous side-affects, others with none. Some painless, others will put you in bed for 2 weeks. The choice is up to you.
The Four Types of Anger, or All You Ever Wanted to Know About Anger (But Were Too Pissed Off to Ask!)
by: John Schinnerer, Ph.D.
Anger comes from the Latin word, angere, which means “to strangle.” Anger strangles us on a number of different levels. It is the emotion which is probably the most familiar to the majority of us. A consistent finding in those who have low self-esteem, migraines, ulcers, heart attacks, substance abuse problems, troubled work and interpersonal relationships and frequent job loss is that they are unable to master their anger. Rather than controlling their anger, their anger controls them. While anger is not the sole cause of these problems, the constant appearance of anger in such individuals indicates that it is a prime factor in all of these problems.
Too much anger is toxic. Anger and hostility result in dis-ease of all types. It is physically arousing and has damaging physiological correlates, such as increased heart rate, more cortisol (a stress hormone) dumped into your system, muscle tension, headaches, decreased mental clarity and clogged arteries.
Anger signals the fact that something or someone has come between you and a desired goal of yours. It is a call to action. The goal may be as simple as trying to get home during rush hour. Yet, when another driver rudely cuts you off on the freeway, your anger rears its head.
The emotion anger is frequently confused with the actions you take while angry. This doesn’t happen with fear. You don’t confuse the emotion fear with the act of running away. However, anger is nearly always thought to be negative and destructive, despite the fact that anger itself is merely a feeling. Anger, in and of itself, if not acted upon, is instructive, not destructive. Anger can be a good thing. However, for anger to be positive, you must first learn to manage your emotions. Then you have a choice as to how to respond to anger’s signal.
Four Types of Anger
To alleviate some of this confusion around anger, allow me to better acquaint you with the various types of anger. There are at least four types of anger of which we know: anger directed at self, anger directed at others, disappointment, and constructive anger.
1. Anger at Self
The first type is anger directed inwardly at oneself. The anger sits inside and burns and festers. After enough anger has been turned inward, it eventually leads to inappropriate angry outbursts at undeserving and unsuspecting people. Studies show that most people turn 90% of their anger inwards at themselves. Most of this anger is an attempt to control and contain the frightening emotion of anger. Anger can lead us to rage-filled, uncontrollable behaviors. Rather than feel the anger, honoring the feeling, and releasing it, most of us bottle it up. This stuffed anger is toxic and leads to all sorts of negative health outcomes. It also leads to displaced anger where you get angry with the wrong person, at the wrong time, and to the wrong degree.
2. Anger at Other
A second type of anger is directed outward. This type of anger builds upon itself and can frequently lead to rage. This form of outward-directed anger is typically displaced onto the wrong person, at the wrong time and in the wrong manner.
Both of the first two types of anger are destructive. Destructive anger includes anger that is directed inward and never released and anger that is inappropriately directed outward at others. Anger directed at others may be inappropriate in terms of its target (Are you directing your anger at the right person?), its intensity (Is the degree of anger in keeping with the offense?), its timing (Is this the best time to make your anger known?), and the manner in which it is communicated (Is this the best way to communicate my anger?).
3. Disappointment
The third type of anger exists in tandem with sadness and most closely resembles disappointment. Disappointment usually involves a judgment that has not been met. Judgments cause trouble for everyone. Judgments usually involve an element of moral superiority, as if you know what is best for someone else. Stay away from judgments.
4. Constructive Anger
The final type of anger is the type used as a positive motivator to act to remove an obstacle that is preventing you from reaching a goal. This type of anger can be a constructive anger, that is, an anger that is quickly released and prompts you to act in a positive manner to remove the obstacle from your path.
Constructive anger actually provides you with a persistent attitude which enables you to push forward to solve a given problem. These four types of anger have been demonstrated via several methods – reports from subjects in scientific studies, physiological evidence, and behavioral data.
When increasing your emotional awareness, part of the task is to learn the variety of subtle emotional differences within one family of emotion. The better equipped we are to make subtle differentiations within an emotion, such as anger, the better able you are to share with others the degree of feeling you are currently experiencing. With that in mind, let us turn to the bodily cues that anger provides us.
Physiological Cues of Anger
In order to stop the cycle of anger, you have to tune in to the early warning signs. So pay attention! When you begin to feel angry, blood flows to your hands and feet, making it easier to strike at your perceived enemy, your heart rate increases, a rush of adrenaline kicks in and your body prepares for forceful action. Anger causes a surge of chemicals (catecholamines) which creates a quick, one-time rush of energy to allow for one brief shot at physical action. Meanwhile, in the background, another batch of chemicals, including cortisol, is released through the adrenocortical branch into the nervous system that creates a backdrop of physical readiness. This emotional undertone lasts much longer than the initial one-time surge and can last for days. This undertone keeps the brain in a special state of overarousal building a foundation on which reactions can occur with great speed.
Compassion as the Antidote to Anger
If you want to reduce your anger, think of the universe as compassionate and nurturing. As such it is designed to reward compassionate, nurturing behaviors in individuals. Compassion transcends both natural human sympathy and normal Christian concern, enabling one to sense in others a wide range of emotions and then provide a supportive foundation of caring. Compassion occurs when a person is moved by the suffering or distress of another, and by the desire to relieve it. Compassion is empathy, not sympathy. It is the identification with and the understanding of another’s situation, feelings, and motives. This ability to put yourself in the other person’s shoes serves as the perfect antidote to anger in which one perceives an obstruction to one’s goals.
The goal is to understand the situation from the perspective of the other person. Often this involves interpreting the situation with a large degree of grace. For example, I am driving 75 miles per hour in the fast lane. A car comes up behind me doing 100 mph. The driver comes inches from my rear bumper in a desperate attempt to get me to move aside. At this point, my former interpretation was “That idiot! What does he think he’s doing? I’m going 75! I’ll show him.” And then I let off the gas to slow down ever so slightly. My current interpretation is “He’s probably trying to get to the emergency room. Perhaps there has been an accident.” And I change lanes and let him by. No anger.
You can learn to be less angry and, as a result, more happy. It takes time. It takes practice. It takes awareness. And it’s worth every ounce of effort you put into it.
By Dr. John Schinnerer
Emotion Mining Company, Inc.
http://www.EmotionMining.com
Anger comes from the Latin word, angere, which means “to strangle.” Anger strangles us on a number of different levels. It is the emotion which is probably the most familiar to the majority of us. A consistent finding in those who have low self-esteem, migraines, ulcers, heart attacks, substance abuse problems, troubled work and interpersonal relationships and frequent job loss is that they are unable to master their anger. Rather than controlling their anger, their anger controls them. While anger is not the sole cause of these problems, the constant appearance of anger in such individuals indicates that it is a prime factor in all of these problems.
Too much anger is toxic. Anger and hostility result in dis-ease of all types. It is physically arousing and has damaging physiological correlates, such as increased heart rate, more cortisol (a stress hormone) dumped into your system, muscle tension, headaches, decreased mental clarity and clogged arteries.
Anger signals the fact that something or someone has come between you and a desired goal of yours. It is a call to action. The goal may be as simple as trying to get home during rush hour. Yet, when another driver rudely cuts you off on the freeway, your anger rears its head.
The emotion anger is frequently confused with the actions you take while angry. This doesn’t happen with fear. You don’t confuse the emotion fear with the act of running away. However, anger is nearly always thought to be negative and destructive, despite the fact that anger itself is merely a feeling. Anger, in and of itself, if not acted upon, is instructive, not destructive. Anger can be a good thing. However, for anger to be positive, you must first learn to manage your emotions. Then you have a choice as to how to respond to anger’s signal.
Four Types of Anger
To alleviate some of this confusion around anger, allow me to better acquaint you with the various types of anger. There are at least four types of anger of which we know: anger directed at self, anger directed at others, disappointment, and constructive anger.
1. Anger at Self
The first type is anger directed inwardly at oneself. The anger sits inside and burns and festers. After enough anger has been turned inward, it eventually leads to inappropriate angry outbursts at undeserving and unsuspecting people. Studies show that most people turn 90% of their anger inwards at themselves. Most of this anger is an attempt to control and contain the frightening emotion of anger. Anger can lead us to rage-filled, uncontrollable behaviors. Rather than feel the anger, honoring the feeling, and releasing it, most of us bottle it up. This stuffed anger is toxic and leads to all sorts of negative health outcomes. It also leads to displaced anger where you get angry with the wrong person, at the wrong time, and to the wrong degree.
2. Anger at Other
A second type of anger is directed outward. This type of anger builds upon itself and can frequently lead to rage. This form of outward-directed anger is typically displaced onto the wrong person, at the wrong time and in the wrong manner.
Both of the first two types of anger are destructive. Destructive anger includes anger that is directed inward and never released and anger that is inappropriately directed outward at others. Anger directed at others may be inappropriate in terms of its target (Are you directing your anger at the right person?), its intensity (Is the degree of anger in keeping with the offense?), its timing (Is this the best time to make your anger known?), and the manner in which it is communicated (Is this the best way to communicate my anger?).
3. Disappointment
The third type of anger exists in tandem with sadness and most closely resembles disappointment. Disappointment usually involves a judgment that has not been met. Judgments cause trouble for everyone. Judgments usually involve an element of moral superiority, as if you know what is best for someone else. Stay away from judgments.
4. Constructive Anger
The final type of anger is the type used as a positive motivator to act to remove an obstacle that is preventing you from reaching a goal. This type of anger can be a constructive anger, that is, an anger that is quickly released and prompts you to act in a positive manner to remove the obstacle from your path.
Constructive anger actually provides you with a persistent attitude which enables you to push forward to solve a given problem. These four types of anger have been demonstrated via several methods – reports from subjects in scientific studies, physiological evidence, and behavioral data.
When increasing your emotional awareness, part of the task is to learn the variety of subtle emotional differences within one family of emotion. The better equipped we are to make subtle differentiations within an emotion, such as anger, the better able you are to share with others the degree of feeling you are currently experiencing. With that in mind, let us turn to the bodily cues that anger provides us.
Physiological Cues of Anger
In order to stop the cycle of anger, you have to tune in to the early warning signs. So pay attention! When you begin to feel angry, blood flows to your hands and feet, making it easier to strike at your perceived enemy, your heart rate increases, a rush of adrenaline kicks in and your body prepares for forceful action. Anger causes a surge of chemicals (catecholamines) which creates a quick, one-time rush of energy to allow for one brief shot at physical action. Meanwhile, in the background, another batch of chemicals, including cortisol, is released through the adrenocortical branch into the nervous system that creates a backdrop of physical readiness. This emotional undertone lasts much longer than the initial one-time surge and can last for days. This undertone keeps the brain in a special state of overarousal building a foundation on which reactions can occur with great speed.
Compassion as the Antidote to Anger
If you want to reduce your anger, think of the universe as compassionate and nurturing. As such it is designed to reward compassionate, nurturing behaviors in individuals. Compassion transcends both natural human sympathy and normal Christian concern, enabling one to sense in others a wide range of emotions and then provide a supportive foundation of caring. Compassion occurs when a person is moved by the suffering or distress of another, and by the desire to relieve it. Compassion is empathy, not sympathy. It is the identification with and the understanding of another’s situation, feelings, and motives. This ability to put yourself in the other person’s shoes serves as the perfect antidote to anger in which one perceives an obstruction to one’s goals.
The goal is to understand the situation from the perspective of the other person. Often this involves interpreting the situation with a large degree of grace. For example, I am driving 75 miles per hour in the fast lane. A car comes up behind me doing 100 mph. The driver comes inches from my rear bumper in a desperate attempt to get me to move aside. At this point, my former interpretation was “That idiot! What does he think he’s doing? I’m going 75! I’ll show him.” And then I let off the gas to slow down ever so slightly. My current interpretation is “He’s probably trying to get to the emergency room. Perhaps there has been an accident.” And I change lanes and let him by. No anger.
You can learn to be less angry and, as a result, more happy. It takes time. It takes practice. It takes awareness. And it’s worth every ounce of effort you put into it.
By Dr. John Schinnerer
Emotion Mining Company, Inc.
http://www.EmotionMining.com
Jumat, 22 Agustus 2008
The Solution for Men's Pants that Won't Stay Up
by: Janine Giorgenti
No Butts About It!
If you have this problem, you are not alone. Six out of ten men suffer with the "lose my pants syndrome." Basically, their bellies are larger than their rear ends, making it almost impossible to keep their pants up where they belong. One man describes himself as the "ice cream cone-shaped Ralph Kramden from The Honeymooners," wide in the middle, smaller in the hips, even smaller in the thighs... Hmm...Sound familiar?
Where Have All the Bottoms Gone?
As the waistline increases, the bottom appears smaller. Age and gravity also have a cruel, ravaging effect on once-plump derrieres. When the hips are smaller than the waist, there is nothing to anchor the pants, so they slowly work their way south. Men try to accommodate this by ratcheting up their belts. Some even resort to suspenders.
Men who have trouble keeping their pants up fear sitting, squatting, and moving about too freely. Their mind is always on keeping their pants up, as you see them walking around, constantly pulling and lifting, hoisting and tugging, in a vain effort to defy gravity. This is not only uncomfortable and unnerving, but gives a sloppy appearance.
Stock Men's Pants Miss the Mark
Off-the-rack men's dress pants are not designed with this build in mind. Manufacturers mistakenly miss the mark and cut for the so-called "ideal standard men's shape." Traditional men's pants are cut with a seven-inch ratio between the waist and seat. In other words, a size 36 pants would have a 36″ waist and a 43″ hip. This leaves many men who find pants that fit their waist with the "droopy drawers, parachute syndrome." Or if they find a pair of pants that fits their rear, they can't zip their fly. There has to be a better way.
The "Bottom Line" Solution
The real solution is to have pants custom made to fit and flatter your shape. Buying pants made to your waist and inseam measurements is not enough to address your fit challenges. Your pants should be designed to fit your waist, hip and thigh, as well as inseam and outseam measurements.
What Fabric Is Best?
Casual pants should be made of a good quality cotton twill, chino or poplin. Many pants today have 3% Lycra for added comfort and stretch. For dress slacks, choose high-quality wool fabrics such as gabardines or sturdy file weaves. Look for a high yarn count such as Super 100's to Super 130's so that they hold their crease, shape and wrinkle less. Wool blends are okay if they are made of quality yarns.
What Should the Style of the Pants Be?
The style should be a simple, flat front or single-pleated to eliminate bulk. The pants should not be tight, but should be a trim cut, especially in the thigh area, continuing down to the knee.
There should be a rubberized strip in the waistband for friction and to keep your shirt from pulling out of your pants. Suspender buttons should be included for braces (suspenders), if desired. Cuffs can be optional, as well as preferred pocket details.
So now you know! There is no need to struggle with dress pants that won't stay in place and just don't fit your frame. Have your pants custom designed for your build and they will look nicer on you, stay in place and feel much more comfortable.
Copyright (c) 2008 Janine Giorgenti
No Butts About It!
If you have this problem, you are not alone. Six out of ten men suffer with the "lose my pants syndrome." Basically, their bellies are larger than their rear ends, making it almost impossible to keep their pants up where they belong. One man describes himself as the "ice cream cone-shaped Ralph Kramden from The Honeymooners," wide in the middle, smaller in the hips, even smaller in the thighs... Hmm...Sound familiar?
Where Have All the Bottoms Gone?
As the waistline increases, the bottom appears smaller. Age and gravity also have a cruel, ravaging effect on once-plump derrieres. When the hips are smaller than the waist, there is nothing to anchor the pants, so they slowly work their way south. Men try to accommodate this by ratcheting up their belts. Some even resort to suspenders.
Men who have trouble keeping their pants up fear sitting, squatting, and moving about too freely. Their mind is always on keeping their pants up, as you see them walking around, constantly pulling and lifting, hoisting and tugging, in a vain effort to defy gravity. This is not only uncomfortable and unnerving, but gives a sloppy appearance.
Stock Men's Pants Miss the Mark
Off-the-rack men's dress pants are not designed with this build in mind. Manufacturers mistakenly miss the mark and cut for the so-called "ideal standard men's shape." Traditional men's pants are cut with a seven-inch ratio between the waist and seat. In other words, a size 36 pants would have a 36″ waist and a 43″ hip. This leaves many men who find pants that fit their waist with the "droopy drawers, parachute syndrome." Or if they find a pair of pants that fits their rear, they can't zip their fly. There has to be a better way.
The "Bottom Line" Solution
The real solution is to have pants custom made to fit and flatter your shape. Buying pants made to your waist and inseam measurements is not enough to address your fit challenges. Your pants should be designed to fit your waist, hip and thigh, as well as inseam and outseam measurements.
What Fabric Is Best?
Casual pants should be made of a good quality cotton twill, chino or poplin. Many pants today have 3% Lycra for added comfort and stretch. For dress slacks, choose high-quality wool fabrics such as gabardines or sturdy file weaves. Look for a high yarn count such as Super 100's to Super 130's so that they hold their crease, shape and wrinkle less. Wool blends are okay if they are made of quality yarns.
What Should the Style of the Pants Be?
The style should be a simple, flat front or single-pleated to eliminate bulk. The pants should not be tight, but should be a trim cut, especially in the thigh area, continuing down to the knee.
There should be a rubberized strip in the waistband for friction and to keep your shirt from pulling out of your pants. Suspender buttons should be included for braces (suspenders), if desired. Cuffs can be optional, as well as preferred pocket details.
So now you know! There is no need to struggle with dress pants that won't stay in place and just don't fit your frame. Have your pants custom designed for your build and they will look nicer on you, stay in place and feel much more comfortable.
Copyright (c) 2008 Janine Giorgenti
About The Author
Janine Giorgenti is a renowned fourth generation Italian designer, image consultant and custom clothier. Visit her website at http://www.bestcustompants.com for more style advice and fashion tips.
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